First, some explanations.

It was almost midnight. I was hanging around with my friends Joko and Jeeves last month in a cafe somewhere in Makati, when the topic of paranormal romance novel series came around. Joko loves these kinds of books to bits (guilty pleasures and all), and she was relishing telling us some of the ludicrous plots from such books. I then claimed that anyone can probably write a romance series (particularly one of those sub-genres, e.g. paranormal romance, horror romance, etc.) with just five set of random keywords.So Joko and Jeeves took me up to my statement, and a writing challenge was made. Here are the rules:

Objective: Develop a romance story out of five random keywords.
Detail #1: The keywords will be chosen by the other two participant.
Detail #2: One of the five random keywords is automatically "vampire".
Detail #3: You get to choose the sub-genre of your romance story.

So here are the other four keywords that Joko and Jeeves chose for me: El Filibusterismo , Darna, Bataan, and Benedict Cumberbatch.

Needless to say, nawindang ako. :-P

Fast forward to this week.One of my book clubs, The Filipino Group, holds bimonthly meme challenges. And what do you know, for the first half of August, the meme challenge is called "Your Romance Novel". That is, you create your own romance novel via a writing structure provided by Tina, the meme challenge facilitator - a perfect opportunity to do Joko's bet. Two birds with one stone, ika nga.

So here we go, my proposed romance story.

Author's name: My own name. I'm going to be proud as hell if this will be published, hahaha!

Your genre: Fantasy Romance

Your novel's romance trope: Tina said to use this page. Browsing through it and because I'm bored with the usual tropes, I think the one that fits the most is "No Romantic Resolution".

Your title: Umm, "The Immortals"? Corny no?

Your setting: Primarily Europe, and the Philippines

Your villain: The fates, I guess

Your main characters / lead interests: 
(I believe that romance books with one character (usually the female) pining/dreaming/pursuing the lead interest (usually the male) is old-fashioned and frankly, boring. Both should be the main characters of the story, regardless of the gender (even if both characters are of the same gender)).

Juan Simoun de Cordoba, Duke of Almodovar del Rio
The son of a wealthy conquistador and a mestizo, he was born in 1650. His father died from a battle with the indios shortly after his birth, and his mother was forced to go back to her family. His first 18 years in the Philippines were happy despite their misfortune, and he was primarily raised by his mother and his Nana Sepang. What he did not know is that his father was the last son of an important family in Spain, and being his only known child, Simoun was his heir. He was forcibly taken from his mother and promptly shipped back to Europe. When he arrived at the Castillo de Almodovar del Rio, he has to quickly learn how to be a nobleman, including how to navigate through the dangerous waters of the royal court, and how to not get assassinated. He secretly swore to himself that he will somehow get back to the Philippines and his mother. But as the year go by, he became so comfortable with the idle life and comfort of being a duke, that he slowly forgot about his promise.

One dark and stormy night, as he got was traveling home from an all night revelry, his carriage was attacked by unknown assailants. All he saw were gleaming eyes. He felt fangs sinking painfully on his neck, then blackness overcame him. When he woke up, he was in his castle once again. During the next few days, he felt drastic changes in his body and spirit: he was becoming a vampire. To avoid suspicion, he left Spain, on the pretense of wanting to travel all over the world. In the next few years (which became decades), he learned through sheer willpower (and with the help of a mysterious mentor) how to adjust to his new life as a creature of the night, how to use his new found powers, and how to obtain some control on his now unavoidable thirst for blood. After a more than half a century he comes back to Almodovar del Rio with a new name, and pretending to be his own son. He then gathered his ducal influence, wealth, and power for a new purpose: to find a way to be human again.

Bernardina Carpio
The daughter of an engkantada and a datu, she was deliberately born to be the savior of the Filipinos against the Spanish invaders. Starting from childhood, she was trained in the art of warfare by her father, and in the art of magic and healing by her mother. She was never given a name (nor knew when she was born), and "Bernardina Carpio" was given to her by her nurse when she grew into adulthood, so that she can blend in with the population.Along with her great strength and immortality, she has the ability to change her skin, which she uses to help the oppressed by transforming herself into people we now recognize as revolutionary leaders or heroes. The downside is that she needs to "sleep" for roughly five years every half a century to recharge.

After two centuries of dedicated service to the cause, Bernardina grew restless. As she walked among the common folks, she grew envious of their freedom to choose their destinies. But she kept her quiet, since she knows her cause is too important, and the she shouldn't be so selfish. That is, until she met the strange brooding man from faraway Europe...

Your one paragraph synopsis (well, in this case, multiple synopses):
In dedication to Joko's vision of a perfect romance story, I see this as a series, at the very least, a trilogy.

Book 1 (1890):
Simoun meets and befriends the young author Jose Rizal. Rizal then takes inspiration from Simoun for his books (particularly the main character of his second book, El Filibusterismo), in exchange for stories about the Philippines. Simoun learns about about the various Philippine folklore and mysticism, including about the legend of the mysterious but powerful Bernardina Carpio. He travels back to his birth country, intent into finding the enigmatic woman, to convince or even force her into curing him. But he did not expect beautiful, untamed and strong Bernardina to be woman of his wildest dreams and eternal longing....

Book 2 (1945):
It has been a difficult decade for Bernardina. World War 2 had taken its toll on the Philippines. With the help of her assistant, the reporter/cartoonist, Mars Ravelo (who had been secretly drawing inspiration from Bernardina for his new comics, Darna), she had traveled all over the country in succor to the sick, the suffering, and the dying. And she felt, a different kind of lethargy too, the one she feels when it's time to go back to the mountains of Montalban for a five-year mystical sleep. But with the US ships on the horizon, and the first blasts of the bombs on Bataan (where Bernadina had established a small secret hospital), the so-called Liberation of the Philippines went underway. In the middle of the battlefield, she did not expect to see the figure of an enigmatic man she had knew quite well, and has dearly loved, from decades ago...

Book 3 (2015):
It is the world premiere of "In Life and Death", a true-to-life action/romance blockbuster starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Set in World War Two, it is the love story of a European and a Filipina meeting in the middle of the battlefield during the deadly Liberation of the Manila. Drawn out of hiding by curiosity and perhaps by destiny, Simoun and Bernardina meets by chance on the steps of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. Will Simoun be able to convince her of to take a chance on him this time around? Will Bernardina be able to be free of her chains and take a chance of happiness with Simoun?

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Is this a go or a bust? Do you think I can dupe someone into publishing this? So what do think?

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 Dear Mr Stevens,

        I will finally be leaving Darlington Hall tomorrow for a new life with Mr. Benn, and I should be resting for the long drive ahead. But instead I had lain awake for most of the night, thinking of ways to tell you things I wanted to say a long time ago. These things are, most definitely, not proper talk between professionals (as you call ourselves), and this letter might cause you some embarrassment or discomfort. For that, I truly offer my deepest apologies.

        I would admit that my first impression of you was not a positive one. To be frank, I found you obnoxious, snobbish, and overbearing, with a tendency to find fault in everything. I was certain that you were an automaton, like the ones found in those Verne novels, with a heart made of cold steel. I do apologize for any hurt this memory will cause you, but it was on your father’s deathbed that I had a glimpse of something curiously different. It was just fleeting, but I sensed then your vulnerability. That deep inside that shell of nonchalant professionalism, is a man, breathing, very much alive, and capable of feeling.

        Those times we were together – simple walks, chores done in silence – meant so much to me. I led a lonely life, and I believed that I found a kindred spirit in you. I will especially miss our daily meetings over cocoa. After talking about work, we’d find ourselves laughing over some silly things (which you’re probably be insisting right now only came from me), or some trivial events of the day. I wonder, did you ever realize that you unconsciously hum so softly during those rare times that you switched on the radio for a little nightcap music? I did, and I remember. What I can’t remember was when it started to shift into something else. I was surprised that you became suddenly so aloof. But then I'd catch you looking at me when you thought I wasn’t looking; or how you’d be so sullen every time I came back from my day off.  You confuse me, so very much. I wanted you to tell me what you were feeling, I hinted so many times, but you refused me. Was all of it simply a figment of my imagination? But I saw you. I sensed you. Why do you always have to pretend?

        Have you realized that you ruined me for other men? You kept breaking my heart into millions of pieces over and over again, and I loathe you for that. You made me happy every time we are together, no matter how short or insignificant to you it may be. Then, the same night, every night, I silently cry because you did not sense my feelings, or had never bothered acknowledging it. I realize now that you don’t see me the way I see you. You called me temperamental, defiant, and impossible. I am all that because, incomprehensibly, I want you, I want to share your life, your burden. But you refused to. I thought I was coaxing you out of your shell, to see that there is life outside Darlington Hall. I was wrong. I see now that there is no shell. Your soul is embedded in every brick and mortar. You ARE Darlington Hall.

        I'm tired of the heart ache. I'm tired of the tears. I am leaving. And I will be happy without you, you’ll see.

                                              Yours,
                                              Emma Kenton

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Fourteen Love Stories - Jose Dalisay Jr. & Angelo R. Lacuesta (editors)
Fiction; ISBN 971-542-412-0; Flipside Publishing, University of the Philippines Press; 2004.

"Which is why, perhaps, the love story is a strange affair. As affairs go, there are good ones and bad ones, the ones we forget and the ones we remember, over and over again. But the well-written love story is an enigma, a strange beauty. Like any story, a path is laid out, but like any affair, the outcome of that journey depends on many circumstances. One reads it and wonders how and why it works, why one is unspeakably drawn to an obscure unknown. One relishes it while it is being discovered, uncovered, but knows with absolute certainty it will end."

I'm glad that the editors of Fourteen Love Stories chose to present the stories chronologically because this gave me a chance to appreciate the changing regard of Filipinos on love and relationships over the decades. But in the end, I can't help but group the stories according to what I'd felt about them (not a good way to review a book, I know, but I'm not aiming for a proper critique =P).

The first group are the ones I had appreciated and enjoyed like artworks in a museum. Indeed, I found myself connecting some stories to certain artists: "Dead Stars" is Luna's "Tampuhan", "Midsummer" is a sensual Amorsolo,"Wedding Dance" reminds me of Botong Francisco's murals, "Tanabata's Wife", to Bencab's sculptures, and Polotan's "The Virgin" to a Manansala jeepneyscape.

I very much enjoyed reading this next group because they reminded me of friends or people I know. This lot includes Ford's "Love in the Cornhusks" (reminded me of one of my parent's kasambahay), Gonzales' "Breathe" and de Jesus' "In Her Country" (a college friend), Fres-Felix's "Alma" (my boss' mistress), and Cordero-Fernando's "The Dust Monster" (a book club friend).

Not surprisingly, the two stories I've identified with  the most were those by writers of my generation. Sitoy's "Weight" is about the subtle pressures of life that chips away one's idealism. It also made me miss the Quezon City of my college and post-graduate life, as well as the naive enthusiasm I had then. My favorite story in the anthology is Katigbak's "Passengers". It is a story of love and loss, told through bus rides. I connected with a lot of things: the girl's fondness of commuting in dingy buses, the narrator's horror of being a new driver stuck in the hellroad called EDSA with suicidal bus drivers, Metro Manila bus routes, the 'techno-dreck' which are the official soundtrack of these buses, and even that infinite parallel universe thing.

There were two I couldn't relate that well: Melvin's "A Normal Life" and Villanueva's "How Could You Smile". The latter is a story of infidelity, something I had no personal or familial experience. The former is about a love affair between an older, more sophisticated woman and and a much younger man. I don't really know what to feel about these two stories. Do I sympathize? Or maybe abhor? But I still enjoyed reading them, though with a certain detachment.

Considering that the wealth of Filipino stories written in English spanned eight decades, I’m amazed that the editors, Butch Dalisay & Sarge Lacuesta managed to choose only fourteen stories. That they limited the pick to only those about romantic love probably didn’t help much, as the Filipino is race that is in love with Love – one just have to flip the local channels or browse through the thousands of Pinoy romance pocketbooks to realize that. But chose they did, and they chose well. 

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The Bookshop - Penelope Fitzgerald
Fiction, General; ISBN 0395869463; Houghton Mifflin Co., 1997.
Florence Green is a widow who, to the surprise of everyone, invested the little inheritance that she has to buying a centuries-old house and turning it into a bookshop, the only one for miles around.

This is, in its most basic, a poignant David-vs-Goliath story. I ached for Florence Green. She is a good soul, much too good for the small-town pettiness of the appropriately-named Hardborough. Textwise, the prose runs smoothly. I like that it is being gloriously short (a rarity, I'm sure). A good read altogether - perfect for that relaxing weekend afternoon. Best read with a pot of perfectly brewed English tea. Five stars.


The Queen Jade - Yxta Maya Murray
Fiction, Adventure; ISBN 0060582642; Harper Collins, 2005.
Lola Sanchez frantically searches for her archeologist mother in Guatemala when she disappeared during the onslaught of a fearsome hurricane. What she finds there was beyond her wildest expectations - legends, lost temples, mazes in the thickest jungles, ancient books, romances, quicksands, artifacts, jewels, traitorous guides, and many more.

If you like Indiana Jones, or better yet, Romancing the Stones, you'll like The Queen Jade. The characters are over-the-top, the plot is mostly implausible - sounds like a good junk-food type of fun to me. Best read with a bag of MSG-laden barbecue-flavored nacho chips. Three stars.


The PreHistory of The Far Side - Gary Larson
Non-fiction, Memoir; ISBN 0836218515; Andrews & McMeel, 1989.
Let's be clear about this: this is not one of the usual The Far Side cartoon compilation. This is a memoir (if you're polite) or a compilation of ramblings (if you're not) of its bizarre cartoonist, Greg Larson. It discusses the origin & evolution of the cartoons, as well as the Larson's creative process. It still have lots of past Far Side cartoons though; Larson had three sections for those he thought are flawed, those that had been controversial, and finally, those that are his personal favorites.

While I'm not a fanatic, I do like The Far Side, for all its crazy and often dark twists from reality. And it is interesting to know that behind that one-panel comic lies the mind of an talented but ordinary man.... nah, Greg Larson is, of course, demented as his creations show him to be. Best read while taking some good ol' tequila kicks. Five stars.

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A Soldier’s Christmas – Rachel Lee, Merline Lovelace,Catherine Mann
Fiction, Romance, Anthology; ISBN 0-373-77014-6; HQN, 2004.

When I picked up this book, I though, hmm, soldiers and Christmas – might be a nice light romance fluff, something palate-cleansing before reading another “heavier” book. Boy, I was wrong. Such an uninspired nonsense. What a propagandist slop. It heavily doles out sermons of the truth, justice and the American way that even the most patriotic American housewife would roll her eyes and/or give a snicker or two. If you’re not with the good guys (i.e. US armed forces and everyone that are 100% rooting for them), you’re probably a bad guy (i.e. the “terrorists” or “rebels”, terms that the book dispense liberally but is unsurprisingly and conveniently vaguely defined).

This might be my worst book of the year. Better steer away from this one.

1/2 out of 5 stars

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